R.E.P.O. review

R.E.P.O. Broke Me — and I Keep Coming Back Like a Fool

Okay. I need to get this off my chest because I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

WHAT IS THIS GAME?? R.E.P.O. dropped into my library like a glitchy fever dream and I haven’t known peace since. Who gave these devs the right to do this to me? Who let them cook this hard?

I launch the game thinking, “Oh, cool aesthetic, nice menu music, probably some quick missions before bed.” Two hours later I’m physically sweating, my fingers ache, my heart’s pounding like I just sprinted a mile, and I’m talking out loud to myself like a man possessed. “Move. MOVE. Slide left. No, LEFT, you absolute moron—ah, they got me again.”

The pacing? Relentless. The enemies? Ruthless. The level design? Sadistic in the most addictive way. And I LOVE IT. I hate how much I love it. Every room is like an exam you didn’t study for but somehow pass because muscle memory takes over and you become a creature of pure instinct. I’ve screamed at my monitor. I’ve laughed in disbelief. I’ve whispered “I’m a god” after surviving with 2 HP left and one clip in my last weapon.

Movement is a drug in this game. I swear they injected the controls with nitroglycerin. Slide, dash, wall-run, repeat. You stop moving? You're done. There’s no “strategic crouch” here. You gotta fly like your life depends on it — because it does. The rhythm you fall into is insane. You become the storm. The room clears you.

And the visuals? Bro it’s like someone smashed Hotline Miami into a CRT screen and dumped it in a Blade Runner alleyway. It’s all glitches and static and oversaturated lights, and it’s absolutely glorious. My eyes sometimes scream in protest, but my brain? My brain is vibing in another dimension.

It’s not even about winning anymore. It’s about proving to this game — this glitchy, neon, psychotic masterpiece — that I am not some casual tourist. I am here. I see you, R.E.P.O.. I see your tricks. And I will beat you at your own twisted game.

And don’t even get me started on the sound design. The soundtrack slaps so hard it should be illegal. It doesn’t play in the background — it takes over your soul. You don’t listen to the music; you fight in sync with it. You become it.

Of course it’s not perfect. The UI is a little jank. Sometimes the game forgets what frame rate is. And yes, there are bugs — sometimes it stutters when I enter a new area or the audio cracks like it's possessed. But who cares?? When a game goes this hard, I expect it to rough me up a bit. It’s part of the charm.

To summarize: I hate this game. I hate how good it is. I hate how it makes me feel. I hate how it’s all I think about when I close my eyes. I hate how I’ll be playing it again tonight until my fingers stop working.

Go play R.E.P.O.. Or don’t. Your sanity will thank you. But your soul? Your soul will never know true speed until it’s been here.